


The Day Off That Wasn't

by Merfilly



Category: Nero Wolfe - Rex Stout
Genre: Changing Tenses, Corpses, Gen, Gunshot Wounds, Murder Mystery, POV First Person, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-13 14:40:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28530087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Merfilly/pseuds/Merfilly
Summary: Just another day, an orchid delivery, a dead body... ya know, normal?
Relationships: Archie Goodwin & Nero Wolfe, Archie Goodwin & Saul Panzer
Comments: 9
Kudos: 9
Collections: Gen Prompt Bingo Round 19





	The Day Off That Wasn't

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Gryphonrhi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gryphonrhi/gifts).



> Prompt: Film Noir for genprompt bingo

My life wanted to be a Hammett novel, with a few nods from Hitchcock… but the whole thing felt like Chaplin directing Keaton some days.

Cramer and Stebbins almost made the Keystone Cops look competent.

The look on Wolfe's face was at least priceless. How dare a dame have had the nerve, the moxie, to expire on his doorstep, the day of a priceless orchid delivery? 

"Archie!"

"You know, today was supposed to be my day off," I told him with good-natured humor, but I was ticking off the little things already. Bruises showing on her wrist, a scarf worn to hide the same on her neck, the fact nothing had been disturbed when she fell at the doorstep.

"She did not die here," Wolfe decreed, a half a second before I could tell him that.

"The police are on their way," Fritz helpfully stated, and I sighed.

Keystone Cops would be preferable.

I was going to be as quiet as possible with the cops, and then get this one done for Wolfe before the end of the day.

I really had wanted my night to myself, but I was already pretty sure who was sore enough with Wolfe to drag him into this with a body on the doorstep.

* * *

  
On the one hand, I'd been absolutely right.

On the other, they'd been a little bit smarter than I thought they'd be, and now my shoulder felt like it was on fire from taking a bullet.

"One of these days, it's not going to be non-vital," Saul said, and I just nodded.

Dying in bed was not on my to-do list, so it didn't really phase me much.

"Wolfe?" I asked, for the fact he'd shown up to be my guardian angel.

The look said the 'who else', before he got the bandage tied off, and I pushed to my feet.

"If I said you should go home, would you listen?" Saul asked.

I gave him my patented 'are you kidding' look, and he moved to go back into the warehouse rather than argue.

It's one reason he was a good guy to have around.

The others?

Well. Those were mine to know.

* * *

  
"…so it was just a grudge match," I finished up, swirling the scotch I'd been given, while Cramer looked like he wanted to haul me in then and there.

"One of these days, Goodwin," he muttered.

"OUT!" Wolfe shouted, and that was the end of it. Shame I really didn't feel as up to enjoying the night as I wanted to. I drained the scotch, and stood up, putting the glass down.

"Did the orchid arrive?" I remembered to ask, just to push Wolfe toward more pleasant thoughts.

Sometimes I can be nice to him.

He inclined his head, but his eyes went to my shoulder.

"Try not to strain that. I'd rather you not work tomorrow," he said, before going back to his routine.

Sometimes, he said he cared, if you knew how to hear it.


End file.
